


Track My Every Movement

by derekstilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Depression, Future Fic, M/M, Sexual Content, Teen Wolf AU, Warning: Kate Argent, bottom!Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 18:40:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derekstilinski/pseuds/derekstilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has had a lot of problems with his past, especially centered around sex. Over the years, Stiles has helped him through so much, and this is a big test of everything they’ve worked on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Track My Every Movement

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Based off of this post: http://thebrotherswinchester.tumblr.com/post/34342361360

Derek's standing against the wall near the window, looking sort of like a deer in the headlights as Stiles sits on the bed. Stiles is looking nervous himself but manages to extend his hand, beckoning Derek over, "Come here."

By now, the whole ordeal of Derek's life has teen told. Every horrible detail; how old he was when Kate seduced him, all his worrying that she might not be okay, noticing Stiles and smelling how badly his mother was doing. What names Kate called him, how he liked them at first, how she made him shift. It was like he was her toy to play around with and throw away.

About the fire, and how he could smell the decay on the property, how Laura silently cried when she thought he was asleep. The pleading stages, just wanting his family back. The suicidal stages, just wanting to be with them.

All the backlash, too. Stiles found that Derek didn't know how to love someone right. Or at all, really. He knew how to get what he wanted, to flaunt himself for it. He knew how to work someone up into agreeing with whatever he said, but not do it because he wanted to, because he wanted them. It's because he didn't know any other way.

Stiles helped the best he could, and it was pretty damn good, if he did say so himself. Derek could kiss him and tell him that he cared deeply for him. He coaxed him into letting it be okay, but it didn't just work like magic.

"Stiles..." Derek says weakly, eyes flicking between Stiles' eyes and hand. His heart is pounding and he takes shelter in the fact that Stiles can't hear it.

"It's gonna be okay. We can go really slow. No rushing, no doing anything you don't want. If you say something's not right, it won't happen." He tells him in a soft but strong voice. Stiles doesn't want anything but to help him, to have him, to love him.

Derek nods slowly, remembering that that's true. Stiles has tested his comfort zone, but has never done anything he didn't think was okay. He lets himself leave the solid brace of the wall and walk over to the bed, enjoying the little smile Stiles gives him.

"There he is," Stiles pats the bedspread next to him, "Sit down?"

"You mean lay down." Derek takes a deep breath, going to take off his shirt.

"No, I don't," Stiles holds the hem of his shirt down, the tugging a bit as incentive.

He processes the thought for a second. Going slow used to be Kate's way of making him beg. The rest of the time they never sat and took each other in. He sits and faces Stiles, who leans over and presses a small kiss to his lips. He likes when Stiles does that. He doesn't want to take anything from him, just wants to give him affection.

He leans in and gives him a kiss back, feeling how eager Stiles is to keep it going. He brings his hands up and holds on either side of his face, moves his lips slowly. It's him who decides to press his tongue forward, senses how Stiles' body reacts to it.

Stiles turns a little, scooting closer. He sets a hand on Derek's thigh to rest there idly when Derek stumbles over exploring his mouth, pulling away. Stiles bites his lip and looks over his face, moves his hand down to his knee, "Sorry."

Derek nods, licks over his lips, "I don't know... I don't want to--" He stops himself, looking down at Stiles then over at his own hands, where they've slipped to sit in his lap, palms up.

"You don't have to do this now. It's okay. We can work on it." Stiles touches one of his hands, traces the lines on his palm.

"No. I don't want to mess it up." He closes his eyes and pulls up meaningful touches Stiles has given him, sexual and nonsexual. He swallows thickly, "Will you--" He looks back to their hands, where Stiles' has gone still, waiting patiently for the rest, "Will you take off your shirt?"

Stiles nods, wordlessly doing so. He leaves it just to the side, so it's in reach if Derek asks him to put it back on. He gives him space, going to sit up against the headboard. Derek follows him with his eyes, then moves to stand on his knees.

He can hear Stiles' heart, loud and strong, and hovers his hands over his legs as he timidly sits himself between them. He's trying not to make himself think that Stiles expects something of him now, now that he's sitting here. Stiles only looks up at him, shivers a little when he sees how closely he's being watched.

Derek touches his chest, feels his thundering heart and instinctively moves closer, liking it. Stiles is watching his hand now, as it moves leisurely on his skin. There's a scar, most likely from Scott or a hunter. Maybe from his own clumsiness. He doesn't like that Stiles' scars don't fade away enough. It's right by his ribs, like something sharp but not sharp enough jabbed him. He leans down and presses his nose there lightly, cheek feeling how warm he is.

He can feel Stiles' eyes on him and he gives a quick kiss to the scar before pulling away. The younger man is smiling softly at him when he looks. Stiles still smiles like he's a kid when he's genuinely happy. Derek's not sure if that's good or bad for the situation. He reminds himself that Stiles is nineteen and fully consenting to... this.

He sheds away his own shirt, leaving it by Stiles'. He reminds himself again that Stiles is legal and it's fine, and that he's not a sex object as Stiles reaches out to touch him.

"You're doing really good." Stiles is looking at his face, fingertips settling on Derek's abdomen, "I wanna kiss you."

Derek nods and lets him sit up straighter, press their mouths together. Stiles' hand moves slowly up to his chest, feeling along the dip of his collarbone before he's cupping his jaw. He holds Stiles' sides when he starts to get up, stumbling a little in the movement to still kiss him and to be on his knees like Derek.

The older man likes the press of Stiles' skin against his once he gets used to it, Stiles leaning to be closer to him. He runs his hands around to his back, tips of his fingers at his spine. He likes the way the muscles move in Stiles' back and presses a little more just because.

Stiles hums against his mouth, rubbing his thumb against his neck, "Do you wanna lay down?"

He actually thinks about it, finding himself looking over Stiles' concerned face. Stiles is opening his mouth to say something else, but he presses a kiss there instead, then nods, "I want to."

Stiles takes his hand to keep contact but backs the rest of himself away, giving him room. He lays on his back and watches Stiles mentally debate. He swallows before asking, "What? I said I wanted to."

"I was just wondering if I could touch you. I was thinking about how to word it." Stiles replies, hand over his thigh, not touching yet.

He nods after a few moments, "Yeah."

"Yeah? Oh. Yeah, yes." Stiles nods, grinning, "Awesome," He holds Derek's thigh and moves a little closer in, "Good?"

Derek nods and he leans down, sliding their lips together. He knows not to go and outright touch Derek _there_ , not yet. Happened once, wasn't a good time. For anyone. So, he skips there and moves his hands to brace on either side of him, letting his lips move from Derek's mouth to his jaw, slowly down his neck.

Derek feels a slight twist in his stomach, like maybe this isn't a good idea, but maybe it is because this is Stiles. He cares so much for Stiles. He wants to do it right. He slides his hands up Stiles' arms, just for something to hold onto, reminding himself that it's Stiles, and it's legal, and he can stop any time he wants.

He's letting himself relax just the slightest bit under him, squeezing a little at the muscles in the younger man's forearms, pulling up mental images of Stiles' mouth because that _is_ Stiles' mouth on him. And he likes it, but it's making him a bit uneasy emotionally.

He squeezes harder at his arms when Stiles licks a stripe down his neck, instantly hating himself for getting aroused by this. He tries to breathe normally and shakes his head, "Stop. Just stop."

Stiles pulls up instantly, looking over his face, "What? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"You... You licked me." He covers his face with his hands, cursing lowly under his breath.

Stiles gently touches his hands, "It's me, though... I can show you."

He gives a quiet grunt and Stiles wraps his fingers loosely around his wrist, pulling a hand away. He brings it up to his mouth and makes sure he's watching. He presses a soft kiss to the sensitive side of his wrist, molding his hand over Derek's, palm to back, lacing their fingers together gently. He flicks his tongue out and runs it over where he kissed, then presses another kiss there.

"It's just me. Little ol' Stiles." He drags Derek's fingers over his cheek before letting his hand go. He sits back, letting Derek have a little room.

"You're not little." Derek tells him, reminding himself that Stiles is nineteen. Nineteen and consenting. Wanting. Loving.

"No, not anymore." He takes a deep breath and straightens his back, and Derek likes the way it looks, the way he moves. He nods to himself. Stiles holds his hands out, "Do you wanna stop?"

"I don't want to. You want this."

"Of course I do. I love you and you're gorgeous. I want you to be comfortable, though, remember? We can stop."

_But I like it_ , Derek wants to say. _I love you, I do want this with you_. "No."

"No?" Stiles looks him over, brows knitted in confusion. Derek looks frustrated, hands opened as he tries to explain, but can't. He nods a little, taking his hands, "It's okay. Calm down. Remember to breathe."

He sighs and looks over Stiles' body again, moves his hands to feel along the definition on his abdomen. Derek closes his eyes and imagines them together, tangled up in the sheets, rutting against each other. He sits up more, taking the waistband of Stiles' jeans and pulling him closer, laying his forehead against his stomach.

Stiles runs his fingers through his hair, "Derek, you don't have to."

He lets his advanced vision take over, seeing him closer, feeling him more intensely. He is nothing like Kate. He looks up and sees Stiles happily surprised, a pleasant smile spreading out on his lips.

"I want to." Derek tells him in a quiet voice, eyes glowing a lovely red. Stiles nods.

"Then okay." He leans down and kisses him, has him rest back against the pillows. He gets closer when Derek spreads his legs wider, letting him hover over him, "No licking this time, I got it. Tell me if you need a minute, okay?"

Derek nods and threads his hands into Stiles' hair, all grown out, pushed back from his forehead. He feels Stiles' lips press along his neck, pausing a moment over his pulse point to find the beat, sighing softly in contentment. Derek thinks he wants to lick at him, but is holding himself back. He's thankful for that.

Stiles continues down, veering off to plant wet kisses over his collarbone, one to his shoulder. He comes back and kisses Derek on the mouth, the older man feeling how electric Stiles is, buzzing with feelings and emotions. Derek groans before he can stop himself and the buzzing zings, something blossoms and Derek smells it, tangy and warm.

Stiles knows it's okay to lick into his mouth and he does, feeling Derek's hands drift down his body, settling on his hips and pulling so lightly that maybe he wasn't supposed to catch it. He gives a groan in response and grinds his hips down, rubbing against him. Derek's breath hitches and Stiles takes that as good, even if he gives him a second, settling them together until Derek tilts his hips up for more. He lavishes the other side of Derek's neck with kisses, working his hips slowly.

Derek breathes shakily, moving his hands down to Stiles' ass and squeezing. Stiles bucks forward and groans against his skin, "Y-You want me to take 'em off?"

Derek nods and watches as he sits up, undoes his jeans. He starts to push them down and gets stuck a little, swearing at himself. It makes Derek smile, just a little, and he sets his hands over Stiles'.

"Sorry, I'm trying." The younger man says, blushing. Derek squeezes his hands.

"I know."

Stiles licks his lips and gets his pants off, laying them an arm's length away. Derek pushes them farther away, then grips to Stiles' hips, watching him rock forward softly with a half surprised expression.

"Can we get yours off, too?" He asks, touching Derek's knees.

"... In a minute." Derek promises timidly, pulling him in closer for a kiss. Stiles groans when Derek touches him cautiously through the fabric of his boxers, pressing more into the warmth of his hand.

"You wanna be top or bottom? I-I don't mind, your choice." Stiles mumbles against his lips, rubbing at one of Derek's thigh.

"I don't know." Derek says truthfully, laying his head back. It's creeping up on him again, the urge to push everything away because it's not what he was taught.

He's trying to remember Stiles during their 'first lesson back to love', how he was so slow with everything, the way he moved so Derek knew everywhere he was going to go before he got there. Derek knows that it made Stiles uncomfortable to be that slow, to force himself not to jump around and fidget.

He takes a deep breath and tries so hard not to lurch back, get the hands off him, try to stop it all. Stiles has stopped moving, observing him, "Derek," He runs a hand over his hair, "I can put my clothes back on."

"I'm sorry." Derek closes his eyes and his chest stutters like he's holding back getting ready to cry. Stiles kisses his forehead and mumbles a 'don't be' before he crawls off of him, heart aching for him. He doesn't even know if Derek will let him hold him tonight. Derek lays there a moment, completely still, then mutters "I love you." while his voice breaks.

And the thing about Kate, when he told that to her, it took her a few moments. He almost thought she ignored him. But then she just smiled and slid her hand up his thigh, distracting him from the fact that she didn't say it back. Stiles is different. Oh, Stiles is so different. He's there immediately, shirt back on, gently molding himself to Derek's side, sliding an arm around his waist.

"I love you, too." He whispers, head resting on Derek's shoulder, unfazed that Derek isn't touching him back, "You can hear it in my heart."

And Derek _can_. He sighs shakily and turns on his side, hugging Stiles to his chest, "I'm so sorry, Stiles. I'm sorry."

"No, no, no. Don't do that." Stiles is sitting up on an elbow and cupping his face in his hands, looking him in the eyes, "Please don't. Apologizing is useless because it's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

"Stiles--" He feels like complete shit for this, for everything. Stiles' heart is beating faster, drive to help and upsetting feelings stirring in his chest. Derek can just about feel them himself.

"Shh, it's okay," Stiles tells him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "I'm right here."

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump_. No blips. Derek whines and digs at his shirt, wanting to tell him something to make it better, anything at all. Stiles looks over his eyes and then leans in, kisses him again. They're both upset and horny and it hurts deep in their chests. Stiles gets back on top of him and Derek fumbles with getting his shirt back off, both of them panting against each other's mouths in desperation.

Derek moves his hands down to his belt and undoes the buckle quickly, shaking hands and little gasps while they kiss. Stiles' hands are in his hair, blunt nails scratching at his scalp. He likes it. He leans up and presses his tongue into Stiles' mouth, wanting so badly to taste him. He feels claustrophobic but wonderful at the same time, listening to Stiles' rapid and strong heartbeat.

Stiles helps as in the frantic fumble of getting his pants off then goes back to kissing him. But that only lasts for a few seconds when they realize they're both lightheaded and they have to breathe. Stiles runs his hands down Derek's sides and leans down, pressing fevered, wet kisses to Derek's abdomen.

The older man pants while he watches him, feeling dazed. He reaches a hand down and cards it through Stiles' hair, just to make sure he's real. Stiles smiles up at him, pressing a kiss just above the waistband of his boxers, "Please?"

"Don't ask, it'll make me think." Derek tells him, ready to lift his hips. He doesn't want to over judge and compare anything anymore. He just wants to feel Stiles, think about Stiles, all their trust and love and God, that sounds sappy but it's what he wants. He wants to be able to be sappy just once, to see how it feels with someone that's not falsely loving him.

Stiles seems to pause for a moment, thinking himself, before he leans up and presses a chaste kiss to his lips, "Just focus on us, then."

Derek nods, letting Stiles strip him bare. Half of him wants to smile at Stiles' face, how relieved he looks to not have him in a panic attack, proud that he's come this far. Stiles tests getting in closer, setting his hands on his inner thighs. And there's the other half, wanting to curl up in a ball and scream until he can't hear his own thoughts.

"Derek," Stiles gently wraps a hand around his cock, pumping slowly. Derek gives a sigh and bites his lip, letting himself relax and look over the freckles on Stiles' face. "How do you want it?"

Derek drags in a ragged breath and his hand shakes as it closes around Stiles' hand, tightens his grip. Stiles brings their hands up the length of him and Derek lays his head back, shuts his eyes to put his full trust out there. Stiles wets his lips and makes the decision, holding Derek at the base and moving to hover his mouth over him.

He sees Derek shift a little, feeling his breath on him, and he doesn't give him time to think before he closes his lips around the tip of his cock. Derek gasps softly, hand going to Stiles' cheek. Just to let him feel it, Stiles takes him in a little more, slides the tip against his inner cheek.

" _Stiles_ ," He hasn't received this kind of pleasure in a long time, not even from touching himself. He couldn't bring himself to, not then. The younger man hums softly around him, which gives Derek a tidal wave of feelings and he groans, "N-No, wait. Stop."

Stiles pulls off immediately, mouth hanging open like he wants to take him back in, "What? Did I do it wrong?"

Derek shakes his head, looking down at him, "Just--Just, get up here."

He does as he's told, going back to hovering over him, looking over his eyes, "You're okay, right?"

"...I just want to keep going." The older man holds his hips, rubbing at the fabric of his boxers. Stiles gets the point after a moment.

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, let's..." He bites his lip, moving his hands down to help Derek's. Once his underwear are laying on the floor next to the bed, Derek's surging up to kiss him. Stiles holds his face and lets himself be laid back onto the bed, opening his legs for Derek. "Y-You know," He says into his mouth, "You can touch me... O-Open me up with your fingers?"

Derek rests their foreheads together, feeling his thighs touch the back of Stiles', "You'd let me?"

"Fuck. Of course I would. I _will_." Stiles reaches back, going for the closed box in his headboard, fumbling with it. Derek leans and grabs it, rubbing them together. Stiles sighs shakily and takes off the top, sitting up on an elbow to grab one of the bottles of lube out. Derek looks at him, raising an eyebrow. He blushes, "Wanted to be prepared... It's strawberry."

Derek chuckles quietly, kissing his forehead before taking the bottle from his hand. He sets the box aside, "Yeah, okay."

Stiles grins at him, cheeks pink. He spreads his legs wider, watching Derek's face as he opens up the lube and spreads some onto his fingers. He seems to freeze for a second, swallowing nervously. Stiles touches his wrist, "It's okay," He wraps his fingers around, "Need some help?"

Derek nods, thankful, because he doesn't know how Stiles likes it. He didn't even know Stiles wanted to be bottom. The younger man leads his hand down, presses the tips of his fingers to his hole. He rubs against him softly, not wanting to press too hard in fear of hurting him.

"Derek, please." He lays himself back to the pillows, smiling encouragingly, "I like it, I promise."

And the thought that Stiles knows that he does, and that he's probably done it before, makes Derek gnaw on his bottom lip and work his middle finger into him. Stiles breathes in slowly and Derek can hear his heart thumping fast in his chest, the warmth of his body as he relaxes around his finger.

"Oh, God," Stiles arches his hips up, spreading his legs wider, "Please, move it."

Derek takes a deep breath and gently thrusts his finger, watching Stiles' face; pink cheeks and open mouth, eyes unfocused as they stare up at the ceiling. He feels around just a little, rubbing against Stiles' inner walls and the younger man gasps, gripping loosely at the sheets.

"Shit," His cock leaks precome and he presses his hips down, "Another one? Derek, please." Derek sets his index finger to him, starting to carefully slip it in. Stiles looks at him, biting his lip. He sets a hand on his arm, "You okay? I-Is this okay?"

"Is it making you feel good?" Derek asks, feeling Stiles clench around his fingers, rock forward a little.

"God, yes." He reaches down and wraps a hand around the base of his cock, just to try and steady himself. He wants to be able to stop whenever Derek needs to.

Derek smiles softly, focusing on stretching him open, hoping he can follow through with all of this. This is the farthest they've ever gotten and Derek's a little proud of himself.

"I--You have to... tell me what you want." He says and Stiles nods, tightens his grip around himself to make sure he doesn't come early. He thinks Derek can sense it, because he curls his fingers slightly, pushing a little more on the next push in, "This?"

He whines and nods, trying to take in the fact that this is actually happening. Derek's doing this to him and it's good. It's okay. "Derek, please. So good... Can we, y-you know, keep going?"

Derek nods even as he continues to finger him, stretching him and making him gasp. He just wants to make it good. Stiles moans and grabs his wrist, "I'm good. I promise... I-I just wanna make sure I don't finish before we get started."

Derek swallows thickly and leans down, kissing him softly. Stiles hands him the lube again, letting him slick up his cock. He's only now realizing that he's almost painfully hard, red at the tip and leaking precome. He's just so used to ignoring it, and the anxiety and fear clouded it. He thrusts slightly into the circle of his fingers without meaning to. Stiles' heartbeat jumps and when he looks up, he's being watched.

He looks at Stiles, hoping for something to help him, because he is scared of messing everything up with him and losing him. How can you do something with someone you love so deeply without being scared? Well, you don't. At least, not in Derek's case.

Stiles reaches up and touches his face, "It's okay. You want me anywhere specific? You can tell me."

"Like this," He says, getting in close and setting his hands on Stiles' abdomen, feeling the younger man's legs bracketing him in. It unnerves him a little, but it's a solid thing, Stiles holding them together. He reaches over and grabs the edge of the blanket from where it had been pushed back and pulls it over them, leaning down close.

"Oh, I like this." Stiles tells him softly, situating his hips, "You can do it now. Full permission."

That steadies Derek and he lines himself up, clenching his teeth as he starts to press forward, tip starting to enter him. Stiles makes a stifled sound along with a deep inhale and Derek watches his face, sees every little tick and movement. So familiar and foreign, having Stiles like this. Stiles grips at his shoulder and the sheets under him. He's imagined Derek inside him a good amount of times but even his fingers and imagination can't help him with how it actually feels. Thick and opening him up, already making him whine.

He's muttering Derek's name under his breath, partly from encouragement, partly because he just can. Inch by inch Derek presses in, hands shaky on Stiles' hips. He doesn't say anything more than his name, digging his nails just so into his skin so Derek knows he's still there with him. It won't hurt him, just a pressure reminder.

When Derek bottoms out he grunts, looking close to a panic attack. Stiles reaches up slowly so he knows where he's going and touches his face, has him look up. "I got you," He promises quietly, "Derek, I got you."

"Stiles." He grits out, lowering his head to rest on Stiles' chest. The younger man bites his lip hard to stifle a noise.

"D-Derek, it's okay. You're okay, I'm-I'm okay." He whispers, moving his hands to Derek's hair, "I love you, I want this."

"Yeah." Derek knows it's true. He takes a deep breath and listens to Stiles' words, his breathing, his heartbeat. The man he loves is alive and needs him. It makes his wolf paw curiously at his insides. It wants, and so does Derek. And so does Stiles, who's trying not to fuck himself on Derek's cock.

"Yeah," Stiles agrees, nodding, "We're fine."

Derek takes in Stiles with all his senses and takes his hips backwards, pulling out slowly. Stiles' heartbeat spikes and his breath shudders, inner muscles clenching around him involuntarily. He tries to be as gentle as he's been taught how again, taking a second before he pushes back in.

Stiles presses his head back against the pillows and gasps, making a slightly strangled noise when Derek's all the way inside him again. Derek touches his face unexpectedly, and Stiles sees he looks horribly worried, "Stiles?"

"I'm okay," He sets his hands over Derek's, "J-Just... getting used to you."

Stiles breathes in heavy, feeling how hesitant Derek is, how tense. It's not making for a good ride, for either of them. But Derek's trying, moving his hips shallowly, and Stiles is trying to relax for them.

The little fucking voice in Derek's head is telling him he's going to hurt Stiles, that Stiles is going to hate him. He starts to hate himself. His chest is tightening up and he whimpers before he can stop it, planting his arms on either side of the younger man.

Stiles looks at him closely, worry written all over his face. He touches Derek's chest, "Derek?"

The older man stops, arms shaking as he pulls out of him, "I-I can't."

"That's okay," Derek looks like he's going to freak out, "It's really okay." Derek closes his eyes and hangs his head, the start of a reluctant cry working up, "Oh, God. Roll off, it's okay. Lay down."

He does as he's told and hides his face under a hand, grimacing at himself. Stiles touches his free hand, "Do you need a minute?"

"I'm sorry," He croaks and he feels as if he can hardly breathe even if his chest is rising and falling rapidly.

"Don't say that. I'm so proud of you, look how far we got." Stiles soothes, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

Derek makes an angry noise, angry at himself, "We didn't get far enough."

"It's fine. There's so many other things to try," He runs a hand over Derek's hair, hearing him grunt.

"I couldn't even have sex with you, Stiles. I couldn't do what you needed of me." He hates that he's this way. He can't even make love to his mate. What kind of Alpha is he? What kind of person is he? Not much. Nothing. He doesn't even deserve Stiles. The voice won't go away.

"You're over-thinking... I can take over if you want, we can do it a different way," He grabs the bottle of lube again and uses his free hand to touch Derek's cheek, "Lemme see you."

Derek moves his hand and looks up at him, taking slow, deep breaths.

"I'll give you a minute or however long you need. We can just lay here, and then, if you let me... I wanna try something on you." And then he opens his arms and Derek gets in close, resting his nose against his collarbone and inhaling his scent slowly. Stiles is still hard between them, Derek half hard. He wraps his arms around him and tries not to move his lower half. He rubs the older man's back, breathing against his hair.

They stay like that for a few minutes, just breathing, Derek trying to get his mind straight, his emotions calm. When he thinks he's okay, he whispers against Stiles' skin, "Do what you wanted... I want to know what it is."

"I thought I could show you that it's okay. You weren't hurting me, you know. It's just a lot to take at first. I-I thought if you let me--"

"You could fuck me." Derek finishes and Stiles' heartbeat speeds up. He feels his skin heat up more, a blush sensible even from where Derek's tucked into his neck.

"W-Well, I'm not gonna fuck you. I'd make love to you, because I do love you. I was just gonna finger you, but we can do that, too. Only if you want." Stiles explains, running his thumb over each knob of Derek's spinal cord.

"...Yeah," He situates himself so he's on his back but his face is still comfortably rested against Stiles' skin, breathing out deep, "Do it."

Stiles burrows a little more under the blankets, bunching them slightly around Derek. He reaches down and runs his fingertips over the older man's thigh to let him know where he is before taking it and parting his legs. Derek nuzzles in closer, closing his eyes, listening to Stiles fumble with the lube. He likes that Stiles still fumbles and stutters, even if it's lessened over the years.

Stiles slicks up two of his fingers and moves his hand down between Derek's legs, index finger pressing lightly to his hole. Derek stiffens. "Relax, Derek. Please," He whispers, slowly circling his finger around him, "It'll hurt if you're tense, I don't want that to happen."

Derek sighs and makes himself relax, focusing on scenting Stiles while the finger against him takes its time making him comfortable with being touched there. When it starts to slip in, it's only Stiles' fingertip, pressing in before it's moving back out, circling around him again. He nips softly at Stiles' neck, going out of his comfort zone just a bit and laving the tip of his tongue over it.

Stiles makes a soft noise and works his finger back in, to the first knuckle this time and it stays there, feeling Derek clench around it, get used to it. After a few moments, Derek relaxes again, rubs the tip of his nose against his neck.

Stiles knows it's okay after that. He starts to open Derek up, nice and slow, giving him more and more. Derek starts to wiggle his hips, breathing a little harder. Stiles asks if he's okay and the older man just grunts, tilts his hips up.

He kisses his hair and pumps his finger in and out of him leisurely, mumbling about how good he's doing, asking him how it feels. He knows he won't get a worded response, but Derek's muscles close around his finger and then relax again, a shuddering sigh leaving his lips, and that's enough.

Stiles sets his second finger to him, "Ready?"

Derek kisses softly just under his jaw and Stiles carefully slips it in, letting him get used to it before starting to scissor them, a low unexpected groan hitting his ears. He does it again, rubbing more against his walls and Derek whimpers into his ear, rocking his hips slightly. The younger man smiles, surge of arousal pumping through him, "Yeah, that's good, huh? Make all the noises you want."

Derek moans, a bit stifled and Stiles works his fingers in and out of him a little faster, hearing Derek's breathing pick up as well. Little gasps and Derek starts rutting, pressing his forehead against Stiles' jaw, pushing insistently.

"What do you want me to do?" He asks quietly, curling and pressing, moving the tips of his fingers and watching Derek react, hips thrusting up.

"F-Fuck," Derek moves to grip at the blanket and Stiles' hip, "Stiles. I want--Please," He squeezes Stiles' hip, eyes starting to glow again, "I just, it's--I..."

"It's okay, Derek," Stiles slows his hand, "You want me to keep going, or do you want all of me?"

"All of you." Derek grits out, hands shaking. Stiles gently takes his fingers away, presses a kiss to Derek's lips as he rolls to hover over him.

"I'm gonna go really slow, okay? You can tell me to stop any time and I will," He rubs some lube over his palm then slicks up his length, "You gotta tell me if I'm hurting you."

Derek nods and shudders when Stiles works his legs open a little more. He feels Stiles against him, lining himself up. The blanket gets pulled closer around them, Stiles leaning down and bracketing his arms on the mattress on either side of his head.

"Okay... Here we go," The younger man kisses Derek's cheek and starts to push in. Derek's breath hitches and he pauses, "Breathe. Relax and breathe."

Derek does what he says, taking deep breaths, whole body shaking softly as he relaxes. Stiles pets his hair, gives soft kisses to his jaw. Derek moves a hand to the back of Stiles' neck and pulls him up for a kiss. Stiles pulls away after a few moments, looking over his face, "You doing okay?"

Derek nods. Stiles lets out a relieved breath, biting his lip, "Then, if I can say so, you feel so fucking amazing."

And Derek blushes. He blushes and Stiles grins, presses a kiss to his lips before sitting up just a bit. The older man twitches a little when he moves, then after a deep breath, opens his legs wider, "Can you start moving?"

"Yeah. I can do that. Got it." Stiles goes really slow, being as careful as he can. Derek looks uncomfortable but he keeps going - Stiles is sure he looked uncomfortable too the first time he got more than one finger inside himself, it sure felt that way. He wants to make Derek feel good.

It gets better, Derek relaxing more, head tilted back and eyes closed. Stiles works himself in and out, purposefully trying to move and rock just right, hoping to find Derek's sweet spot.

Derek starts to breathe more heavily, grunting softly when Stiles presses back in. Stiles groans for him, letting him know it's good and it's okay to let go and just feel it. He mumbles that into Derek's ear, feeling the older man's hands slide along his back, all the way down to brush his ass. He thrusts in harder and Derek groans, panting afterward, eyes open now.

"Good?" And Derek nods, tugs him forward by his ass for more, "Jesus, Derek. Fuck, okay." Stiles keeps that pace, pulling out slow, pressing in hard. Derek, hesitantly, starts rutting up with him, letting out these little surprised noises. He dips down and suckles at his neck, holding fists in the sheets as he puts more of his weight into his thrusts.

Derek's breath hitches and his nails dig at the soft flesh of Stiles' ass, legs trembling and eyebrows knit together as he concentrates on the sensations, the feeling that's zinging up his spine and heating up his body. He likes it, he does. It just surprises him that it feels good, that he feels okay with this. Stiles' lips pressing to his cheek bring him out of his thoughts and he groans, panting while he turns his head in toward Stiles.

"Oh, God. Derek," Stiles bucks forward and Derek sounds like the air gets punched out of him, head going back against the pillows. He bites his lip and looks down to inspect him. Derek's not tense, and--Fuck. He's leaking copious amounts of precome onto his stomach and relaxing to take Stiles in as far as he can go.

The younger man reaches down and wraps a hand snug around Derek's cock, pumping quickly. Derek gives a broken sound and convulses, squeezing his thighs around Stiles' hips. Stiles shudders and pushes in harder, watching Derek bare his neck to him.

"F-Fuck, you want me to--" Derek grunts at him and Stiles nuzzles at him, then bites down just above his collarbone. A strangled whine leaves Derek's mouth and his body tenses, stills and then Stiles' hand is being coated with white, come running down his knuckles.

Stiles waits until Derek relaxes again and pulls out. Derek's got wide eyes and gasping, dragging his nails up Stiles' back and Stiles pants against his ear while he wraps a hand around himself, jerking quick to bring himself off while Derek's arms hold tight around his shoulders.

Stiles comes with Derek's name on his lips, a quiet and sated whimper. He lays his head on Derek's shoulder and rubs at his stomach, trying to calm him down, "I-It's okay. We did it, you did it."

"Stiles," Derek's voice is quiet as well and he holds Stiles tighter, rolling them onto their sides and gasping as he does so. Stiles looks over his face and then kisses him softly on the mouth, "I--"

"Yeah, I know." Stiles nods, smiling softly. Derek nods, returning the smile before closing his eyes and breathing out slowly.

They end up falling asleep, naked and sticky, with Derek curling up and having the blankets bunched around him. Stiles holds him close and doesn't let him go. When Derek wakes up, he's really uncomfortable and wants a shower, but he wants it with Stiles.


End file.
